The following kissing tips will help you to avoid some silly and potentially embarrassing mistakes if you want to kiss someone special and ensure that it is a memorable experience for both of you.
Some people argue that kissing comes naturally to us and that it is not necessary to learn how to kiss. It is true that kissing is not difficult, especially if you’re idea of kissing is a quick peck on the cheek of your partner. However, it is also true that we are not born good kissers. Most of us learn how to kiss through experience and by trial and error.
The problem is that your partner will often be too polite to point out some of the mistakes you are making while kissing him or her and you will often remain unaware of the fact that your kissing style and technique need work.
What further complicates the issue is that different people kiss differently and that when you meet someone else he or she may not find your kissing technique as acceptable as your previous partner.
However, by adhering to the following kissing tips you will have a solid foundation on which you can expand your own kissing style and technique without fear that you may be doing something wrong.
Kissing Tips Video
The following video mentions some solid kissing tips as well as some common mistakes to avoid when kissing someone.
For more detailed information refer to the kissing tips mentioned below.
10 Kissing Tips On How To Kiss Well
Here are 10 kissing tips that will help you to be a good kisser and prevent you from making some common but silly kissing mistakes.
1. Make sure your partner is ready and willing to kiss you.
The fact that you are out on a date with someone and you’re both having a good time does not mean he or she wants to kiss you or is ready to be kissed by you. Remember, there is no rush, especially if you have not kissed that person before.
Don’t be too impatient and always respect the feelings of your partner. Don’t walk around just thinking of when, how and where you are going to make your move. Just enjoy every moment you are spending together. If you end up kissing, great! And, if you don’t end up kissing it’s not bad either. It will only be bad (in your mind) if that has been the only thing you have been focusing on during the date.
If it is clear that he or she is not ready or in the mood to kiss you, don’t take it personally. It does not mean he or she does not like you. Remember, there can be any number of reasons why your partner does not want to kiss you and in most cases the reason(s) will have nothing to do with you. Some people just don’t like the idea of kissing their partner on the first date or even on the second date.
However, sometimes your partner may not want to kiss you for reasons that have pretty much everything to do with you. And this brings us to the second kissing tip…
2. Look after yourself!
Chances are good your partner won’t even notice if the wind has blown your hair a little out of place and won’t mind if you have a pimple on your face. But, personal hygiene is important and you need to look after yourself!
Nobody likes to kiss someone that has dry or chapped lips. And, even worse, bad breath. Yuck! It is simply gross! If your lips are dry or chapped make sure to apply to lip balm regularly and give your lips some time to get better before you try to kiss someone. Make sure you brush your teeth before going out on a date and carry some breath mints with you that you can suck before you move in for the kiss. And, if you prefer gum instead make sure to spit it out before kissing! (I have had gum transferred to my mouth a couple of times and it is not cool).
In addition, your hair, hands and body should be clean. Have a bath or a shower before your date. Bad body odour, dirty hair, fingers and nails are not cool!
Girls, go easy on the makeup! It is normal that you want to look your best but your boyfriend does not want to have a face full of powder or your lipstick on his mouth after kissing you. In any case, most guys prefer girls that wear little or no makeup to girls that plaster themselves with makeup.
Guys, if you have stubble shave it off. You may think it is cool and manly but your girlfriend may not appreciate being sandpapered while kissing you and you don’t want to give her a bad rash.
Lastly, dress well. You don’t need to dress like a fashion model or a celebrity but make sure you are presentable and that your clothes are neat and your shoes are clean.
3. Try to avoid kissing in public.
There is nothing wrong with showing affection in public. But, kissing someone passionately in public is not a good idea, especially not if it is the first time you’re kissing that person.
It does not matter how confident or self-assured you are, your partner may not appreciate your friends or strangers staring at him or her while you’re kissing. In addition, it may cause other people to feel uncomfortable, especially if they have small children with them.
When you kiss someone special you want to give him or her your full and undivided attention. Being aware of people looking at you while you’re kissing your partner may cause you to feel more self-conscious and chances are that since you will already be feeling a little bit nervous before kissing that knowing other people are watching you kiss will only amplify your uneasiness and this may very well spoil the moment.
If you have been dating for a while and are comfortable kissing your partner a short but meaningful kiss in public should not be a problem for anyone. But, if you want to kiss someone special for the first time then rather find a more private place in which to do it.
And, by private I am not talking about your bedroom! That may be a bit too private for your first kiss and may create the wrong impression with your partner about what your intentions are. To be on the safe side, choose a place where you have some privacy from curious bystanders but where you are in close proximity to other people.
4. Give your partner clear signals.
It’s important that you give your partner clear signals that you wish to kiss him or her or that you are ready, willing and eager to be kissed. In principle you should never ask your partner for permission to kiss him or her. Asking for permission is very old-fashioned, childish and it shows a lack of self-confidence on your part. In addition, by asking for permission you may very likely spoil the moment for both you and your partner.
So how can you give your partner clear signals if you should not verbally express your desire to kiss or to be kissed? Well, you have to make your intentions clear through your body language. Fact of the matter is that about 90% of communication is nonverbal anyway and it’s not hard to show your partner through your body language that you want to kiss him or her. And, by paying attention to the body language of your partner you will also know whether he or she is ready to kiss you.
Using body language to communicate your intentions and to interpret the intentions of your partner may seem difficult. However, nothing can be further away from the truth… We all use body language to communicate, whether we are aware of it or not. And, we subconsciously interpret the body language of people we are with. Somebody does not have to tell you that they are happy, upset, excited, sad or nervous. In most cases you will naturally pick up how they are feeling by observing their body language even if they don’t say one word.
The problem is that body language can sometimes be confusing. For example, some people cry when they are happy. And, since you may be nervous before kissing someone special, especially if it is your first kiss, you may be sending that person mixed signals without even being aware of it. He or she may interpret your nervousness as meaning that you are uncomfortable in their presence, are not having a good time and even that you do not like them.
The most important rule in giving your partner clear signals is to RELAX!
It is normal that you may feel a bit nervous but try your best to relax. Guys, most girls will tell you honestly that they appreciate and respect confidence in a guy. You don’t want to come across as being unsure of yourself. And girls, you also need to be confident. Most guys are not attracted to shy, giggly girls.
The best way to communicate your intentions through your body language is by making regular eye contact with your partner and by casually touching him or her several times before moving in for the kiss.
It’s much easier to kiss someone if you have already had some physical contact with that person. If you are not ready to hold his or her hand or if your partner does not want to hold your hand you can be pretty sure that trying to kiss him or her may not be such a great idea.
The same can be said for eye contact. They say our eyes are the windows to our soul. You can learn a lot from someone by looking into his or her eyes. Make a point of establishing regular eye contact with your partner and smile often while looking at him or her. It will be a clear signal that you are enjoying his or her company and that you feel comfortable and at ease being with them.
For some more tips on setting the mood for kissing and body language see how to kiss.
5. Take it slow and easy!
Don’t rush the kiss! By rushing the kiss you may catch your partner by surprise and it can be quite embarrassing for both of you especially if they happen to look away while you are moving in for the kiss. Take it slow and easy!
Generally the guy will make the first move but there are no fixed rules and it does not really matter. Guys, if you want to kiss a girl and if you think she wants to kiss you too just do it! And girls, if you want to kiss a guy but he is a bit shy to make a move then go for it! He will not mind at all! Don’t wait for the other party to make the first move. If you both feel like kissing but neither of you do anything it only becomes awkward.
i. Look into your partner’s eyes and lean towards him or her, clearly showing your intentions.
ii. Touch your partner’s face or hair with your hand or embrace him or her.
iii. Tilt your head slightly to the left or the right as you lean forward. Don’t move in too fast or smile as you move in to prevent you from bumping noses or teeth.
iv. Moisten your lips a little bit. You don’t want it to look too suggestive! But, it’s much nicer kissing slightly moist and smooth lips than dry lips.
v. Close your eyes just before your lips touch. It really feels weird when someone is staring at you while you are kissing them so don’t forget to close your eyes!
6. Kissing should be soft and gentle.
Kissing should be soft, gentle, passionate and meaningful.
Gentle lip contact without using your tongue can be just as passionate as any other kissing technique. Some people don’t like French kissing and if it’s the first time you are kissing your partner gentle lip contact can be passionate and meaningful at the same time.
Kiss your partner gently on the mouth, pull back and re-establish eye contact for a couple of seconds. If you feel like kissing him or her again (and if your partner has responded well to the first kiss) then lean forward and kiss them again.
7. Use your hands and arms while kissing.
Making out generally involves a lot of touching while kissing someone. However, even if you are only giving your partner a soft and gentle kiss on the mouth don’t just let your arms hang loose at your sides!
Use your hands and arms to caress your partner’s face or hair while kissing or to embrace your partner. It can be very sensual to touch or to be touched while kissing someone.
Guys, by touching I don’t mean groping! Girls do not like to be groped and certainly not during their first kiss! Keep your hands off her private parts or you run the risk that it will be the first and the last time you get to kiss her. Girls, the best way to solve the problem of wondering hands is to simply hold his hands or to place them on your hips or to say “No!”
8. Deepening the kiss.
If you both feel like it you can deepen the kiss. This does not mean you have to make out or start French kissing. You can deepen the kiss in a number of ways such as by kissing your partner’s upper or lower lip or by gently teasing their lips with the tip of your tongue.
If your partner opens his or her lips you can use the tip of your tongue to caress the inside of their lips or tongue. Don’t just stick your tongue into their mouth! You don’t want to gag them!
Remember to breathe! It’s not cool to kiss someone and then to gasp for air so try to breathe through your nose if possible. Also avoid locking lips with your partner thereby making it hard for them to breathe freely. Feeling like you are being suffocated is a big turnoff!
Kissing often produces excess saliva so remember to swallow regularly but discreetly. Nobody likes to be kissed by someone that is drooling and slobbering all over them!
You may also deepen the kissing experience by not only kissing your partner on the mouth. Girls love to be kissed in the neck and most guys find it a big turn-on when a girl nibbles on their ears. But, whatever you do don’t bite! Guys, kiss her neck softly but be gentle. Girls bruise easily and giving her a hickey is not something she will be pleased with. Girls, don’t bite his ear or lips! He may be too proud to say anything but it’s painful and not enjoyable being bitten!
By kissing your partner in the neck, ears or face I am not saying lick your partner! Nobody likes to be licked in the face! Keep your kisses soft and gentle.
In the future you may want to experiment with different ways of kissing your partner and deepening your kisses. Being predictable and never showing some initiative can be boring. As you get to know your partner better try to come up with some new ways of kissing them to ensure it remains special, exciting and memorable.
9. Don’t go too far too fast.
The fact that your boyfriend or girlfriend is ready and willing to kiss you does not mean he or she wants to make out with you or want to go any further than just a simple kiss.
Always treat your partner with respect and don’t try to go too far too fast. Girls, it is important to set clear boundaries. Guys will often try to see just how far they can get. If he does anything that makes you feel uncomfortable, tell him. He will respect you for that.
Contrary to what some people believe guys prefer to date girls that have clear boundaries to girls that have no boundaries. If you want to get more serious in the future then by all means use your own judgement. But don’t mistake the fact that your partner is willing to kiss you as a green card that you may do whatever you please.
10. After the kiss.
When you are finished kissing don’t just leave your partner. Look into his or her eyes, talk, cuddle or just hold hands. Let your partner know that you enjoyed the kiss. Don’t thank your partner! Your partner was not doing you a favor! But, if you want to you can tell them that you enjoyed the kiss.
Remember that different couples kiss differently and that there is not just one way to kiss someone right. However, I trust that the above mentioned kissing tips will help you to be more confident and comfortable kissing that special person in your life.
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